God loves me and He is ever present. I KNOW this.
God sent His Son for me so that I can live with Him forever and ever. I KNOW this.
Those two facts alone should provide me with enough joy to overflow for my lifetime. I KNOW this.
What I DIDN'T know, until about two years ago, is that I struggle with depression.
Oh, I don't struggle to the point that I believe I need medication. I don't struggle to the point that I entertain thoughts of suicide. But I know that my depression is real. Well, given the things that I KNOW, my depression really puzzles me.
Why do I bring it up? Because today is one of those days. I smile and laugh and talk with whoever is around, but inside, I don't feel so...up. So right now, although there are 5 other people in the building, (I'm in the MBSF, if you want to know WHAT building), I'm sitting in a quiet corner, pondering on the gifts from my Father and writing this blog. I don't like my personal battle. But God didn't put me here to have it easy everyday. This is another thing that I KNOW.
Heavenly Father, I thank You for who You are to me. I thank You for all that I have and all that I am due to You, for I know EVERY GOOD thing comes from You. Father, grant me Your strength and Your wisdom, that I may endure the battles. For I KNOW that in you, I WILL win them. I pray it in the precious name of Your Son Jesus. Amen.
About Me
- Robert Fellows, Jr.
- I am a music instructor at the University of Arkansas-Monticello. I attend a progressive---in my opinion--- missionary baptist church (Pauline Baptist Church) in the city of Monticello, AR, where I serve as a member of the choir and as handbell director. Music definitely drives my life, especially from the standpoint of leading an ensemble when I am fortunate enough to get the chance. I love being around my students at the university. They inspire me in each of their own unique ways everyday.
3 comments:
Oh, my brother! I so understand. And just so you'll know, there are a couple of us that can 'see' the reality behind the mask! I totally get it, I understand. And sir, you are absolutely bathed in prayer!
"Father, I give to you my brother...hold him, love him, calm him, and lift him. Relax his spirit and bathe him in Your peace. May he feel you so close that he can feel Your breath on his cheek. He is Yours. And even though days like to day are sometimes a nightmare, let him always know that You suffer right with him, right beside him...simply because You love him. May You receive Glory through this. In Jesus' Name, Amen."
brother, i'm trackin with ya and prayin for ya.
Thank you, Jim.
Thank you, Dean.
I love you guys!
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