Tuesday, July 29, 2008

The Bonds/Bondage of Attraction

Attraction-(noun)-appealing quality or feature-a quality or feature that attracts somebody[Encarta]

Okay. I have to comes to terms with it. I am a chronic attractee. I am one man. ONE single man among SCORES of attractive women. To what am I attracted? Oh, the list is extensive. To who am I attracted? That list may be growing. In fact, I KNOW it is. I am, as I said, a chronic attractee. Well, what is that? It is one who is single and seeking. Well, doesn't that apply to a LOT of people? Okay; yes. So, why chronic? Let's supply a deeper meaning. It is one who has LONG been single, and LONG been seeking. I am past the normal age of single and seeking; normal by human standards, anyway. So, now, the range of attraction seems to be growing by leaps and bounds, and thus has become...chronic. I see a woman with physical features that capture my attention who looks remotely single, and I become immediately captivated. The physical features vary. She could be tall. She could be short. Her hair could be long. Her hair could be short. She could be of average build. She could be a little heavy of build. But something about her catches my initial fancy. And then I'm gone. I'm gone into the world of "how can I get to know this woman"? There are times when I have to let it go. Then, there are times when I have the choice of whether or not to go over to her and strike up a conversation. I'm pretty proud of myself when I get to do that. This affords me the opportunity to ascertain her "significant otherness". If she is married, all bets are immediately off, and so is the pressure of being attracted. (Side note-not all women wear wedding bands on a regular basis, or I could figure that one out much quicker) If she reveals a boyfriend, the bets lessen, but may not be off. "Boyfriend" can sometimes mean, "I'm with him, but only for now". So, I then become cautious, but keep the lines of communication open. If singleness is the case, the pressure of the attraction takes on greater proportions: now, I have to maintain the ability to be interesting, while holding on to the thought that I may NOT be attractive to HER.

It's all quite an ordeal. Is there a cure for being a chronic attractee? It is suspected that the one and only cure is finding a monogamous relationship. I long for that day. Being a chronic attractee can be quite tiring.